Matrimonial Relationships: Twelve things to be taken care of


University of Rhode Island revealed the results of a highly-anticipated study involving male attitudes towards their female spouses. The study polled one thousand married men from all fifty states and found that a resounding eighty-one percent of the respondents said that a disgruntled wife was the biggest domestic terrorist known to them.

“Our work suggests that married American men are more terrified of their ticked-off wives than any terrorist” said Leslie Bates, the lead researcher of the study. “The eighty-one percent number is absolutely staggering and tells us quite a lot about the power angry married women hold in our society.”

While this research has shown this, the other side of the story is that it has been listened and observed quite a time by the disgruntled wives that their husbands have changed over a period of time. ‘He is no more the same person who I have married’ is the typical comment. This change is noticed by them through the behaviour and treatment of theirs by their husbands in the daily life.

The sad part of the story is that these annoyed women are failed to comprehend the whole situation and also failed to ascertain the reasons behind this type of attitude of their husbands. Although we are talking about the married couples, this all applies also to the people living in partnerships.

We are going to focus on a single most one of the major reasons for this changed attitude of men towards their wives. This is ‘CARELESSNESS OF WOMEN TOWARDS THEIR OWN SELF AND TOWARDS THEIR HUSBANDS’.

It is an established fact that the major attraction period ends within 3-4 months period after commencement of a marriage. Then routine life is started and keeping the flame burning becomes a prominent issue for both of the spouses. When attraction recedes and fades away in a natural way after spouses have known each other well, there arises the most need for doing things which produce the attraction or maintain/enhance whatever is left behind.

What happens in actual is that men get busy in their businesses and jobs while most women retire to a slow paced restive life. There are a number of actions/behaviours of the women which contribute to low attraction factor in their family relationships. We are going to list out hereunder some of those ones. This is not in any way aimed to assert that women are to blame but to identify the core reasons and to seek their possibilities in order to turnaround the situation in favour of both the women and the men.

These factors given below can be termed as prime reasons which contribute in making bitter the relationships which are needed to be most harmonious and peaceful. In any other case, the life of those involved may become the living hell:

1. They become less active as compared to their prior single life.
2. They take more time to bed/sleep than required by a normal healthy person.
3. They eat carelessly which contributes to their increasing body weight and sluggish attitudes.
4. They become and remain unclean, lazy, unorganized and out of shape.
5. They communicate most with their parents, siblings and friends and less with their husbands and others in husband’s family.

6. They are failed to control their mood swings, anger and other insulting behaviours in addition to their useless babble and prattle.

6. Homesickness sometimes takes over them.
7. They turn more to their individual hobbies and likings than the common interests wherein their husbands and partners may participate.

8. They involve themselves in domestic politics and conspiracies.

9. They do not make their own decisions but try to implement and force those made by their mothers, sisters and friends who have not any better idea of the whole situations.

10. They gradually become pushy and controlling.

11. They are failed to put their part of efforts to produce that level of intimacy which is required to be the very basis of this relationship.

12. When there comes a child, the whole attention is diverted to it depriving the husband even from the remaining part which he was getting before the new entry.

Notwithstanding the above mentioned obvious reasons, this is not to say that men are the perfect ones. There must be the men out there who might not be made happy whatever the women do for them to their best. There may be many who are failed to do their part of obligations to keep the relationship afloat.

There lies a great possibility that if the reasons given above are tackled in true spirit with a sincere intention to build lasting relationships, this shall make the effort worthwhile resulting in great success.

In order to change the attitude of women as portrayed by the above referred study, the major burden of responsibility in this scenario is thus rested with the women themselves. They are the ones to be more considerate in doing and avoiding whatever is needed to make the married life work, build a happy home and the sustained relationship.

Majority of women are capable of doing this at their own. Help of a family counsellor can also be sought where needed. When a little of the attention by them is diverted to the things needed to carry out and avoid all those which ruin the very basis of the sacred relationship. This must always be kept in mind that this relationship truly is an agreement for doing its part by each of the partners. And it is not possible in any manner that an earnest effort is made in the right direction and it does not bear the desired sweet fruit.

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