Anger Management

 
 

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled ‘n asked. Do you know Why do people in anger shout at each other?

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, Because we lose our calm, we shout.’

‘But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner at low voice.’ asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.

Finally the saint explained.

‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they need to shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small…’

The saint continued, ‘When they love each other even more, they do not speak, only whisper ‘n they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other ‘n that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’

He looked at his disciples and said.

‘So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.’

Let us move forward!
Anger management has been a basic and vital subject of the human behaviour scientists of all ages. Anger being a severe mental condition not only affects the human psyche but also causes severe damage to the human body. Further it has enormous implications to the social, business and personal relationships if not controlled and managed in a proper manner.

To properly manage, first we shall have to look in to the nature of anger.

What is anger?

Anger is very powerful emotion triggered by the strong feelings of frustration, disappointment, annoyance and hurt. It is a natural reaction for human survival in the face of a perceived or actual insecurity, threat, danger or an external non-favourable action towards a human being.

Mark Twain said, anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. According to Robert Green Ingersoll, Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.

Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding. -Mahatma Gandhi.
 
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned. -Buddha.

The greatest remedy for anger is delay. -Lucius Annaeus Seneca (c. 4 BC-AD 65), Roman philosopher and playwright; member of the Seneca Indian tribe of North America;

If we try to sum up what the anger is, we come to the conclusion that being angry exhibits weakness of a person. It is a statement of helplessness by the victim of anger. Therefore, in order to cope with this emotional state, that  person shall be required to remind himself that ‘he is not weak’.

Causes of Anger

Reasons / Things which make us angry:

  • Financial issues
  • Mental illness
  • Physical illness
  • Grief
  • Hunger
  • Pain
  • Withdrawal from medications
  • Phases like pre-menstrual syndrome
  • Alcohol, Drug abuse
  • Sense of deprivation
  • Sexual frustration
  • Injustices from others/society
  • Fear of enemies
  • Intimidation and harassment
  • Tiredness
  • Humiliation
  • Disappointment
  • Deadlines
  • Embarrassment
  • Poor services
  • Traffic problems
  • Price hike
  • Social unrest
  • Political upheaval
  • Infidelity
  • Improper work/working environment
  • Personal failure

Effects

When we get angry our body releases stress hormones, such as adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol. Certain other indications also become clear after we get in to the sate of anger. These include increased heart rate, higher blood pressure, high body temperature and increased breathing rate. The anger if not controlled and managed in a proper order may damage the health of those involved to a serious level.

The major mental effects as well as those physical ones are as per following:

Mental Effects

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Regret
  • shame
  • Eating disorders
  • Low self esteem
  • Mood swinging
  • Addiction to drugs
  • Hopelessness

Physical Effects

  • Hypertension
  • Headaches
  • Backache
  • Strokes
  • Heart attack
  • Sleepless Nights
  • Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and other digestive disorders
  • Lower pain threshold
  • Weakened immune system, resulting in more infections, colds, and influenza.
  • Skin problems

Remedies

For having anger Management therapy people need to learn the skills to realize the triggering point in order to control their anger. In anger management counseling the following techniques are used:

  • Cultivate love and affection where ever you are, whether it is your home, workplace, social gatherings or society at large. When you will exhort love, it is the which shall come to you back.
  • Identify the triggering point of anger.
  • Correct the thought process when not working properly.
  • Use the skills and techniques to keep calm.
  • Divert your attention and energies to the real problem in order to solve it.
  • Help yourself or the other victim to control anger by using the above.

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